Some examples of things that have helped other people are having the television or radio on, colouring tablecloths, doing a puzzle or being involved in conversation.
Come up with a list of distraction techniques with them for them to use when they are struggling — this could be helpful outside mealtimes too. Keep conversation neutral at mealtimes, so avoid discussing topics such as diets, exercise or how treatment is going.
This may require supporting your loved one with pushing through this discomfort and continuing to eat regularly. Evening times are often the most vulnerable time for people who binge eat — ask your loved one what you can do to help with this, or at other times that they may find difficult.
Even if their eating disorder causes them to withdraw, keep inviting them to join in with group and family activities. Take time to discuss topics outside of the illness and treatment — this can feel very tricky but your loved one is still there despite the eating disorder. Help your loved one try out new hobbies or return to hobbies that they used to enjoy. If your loved one enjoyed sports or exercise prior to developing the eating disorder and this became a problem, ensure that you consult with their medical professional about the best way to manage this.
It might be best to walk away and talk once everyone involved has calmed down. Think about how best to ensure that you, your loved one and anyone else present are safe, and put into place the necessary actions. Try to resist any urge to respond to anger by getting angry yourself.
Try not to feel too guilty if you do find yourself getting angry at them. Make time when things have calmed down to explain your emotions to your loved one, and try to encourage them to do the same.
Each of you clearly communicating your views and feelings might make it easier to avoid the situation in the future. After the situation has calmed down, take time to look after your own needs. Here you are letting them know that you love them, but also recognising the importance of self-compassion and modelling this to them. Talk to other people involved about how to handle situations where emotions are running high. Just eat normally.
You look well. I wish I had your control. You just need to stop eating so much. Get well soon. I wish I had your body. I can easily finish a packet of biscuits so know exactly how you feel. Externalising the illness Externalising the eating disorder — viewing it as separate to your loved one — can empower you to help distance them from the illness and challenge the eating disorder behaviours.
Support for Yourself Supporting someone with an eating disorder can affect your own physical and mental health. Support for Carers Taking care of someone with an eating disorder can be physically and emotionally exhausting. Read more. Beat's Services for Carers Beat supports anyone affected by an eating disorder. But eating disorders are more complicated than just unhealthy dietary habits.
People with eating disorders use food to deal with uncomfortable or painful emotions. Restricting food is used to feel in control.
Overeating temporarily soothes sadness, anger, or loneliness. Purging is used to combat feelings of helplessness and self-loathing. Over time, people with an eating disorder lose the ability to see themselves objectively and obsessions over food and weight come to dominate everything else in their lives. Their road to recovery begins by identifying the underlying issues that drive their eating disorder and finding healthier ways to cope with emotional pain.
People with anorexia starve themselves out of an intense fear of becoming fat. In addition to restricting calories, people with anorexia may also control their weight with exercise, diet pills, or purging.
Bulimia involves a destructive cycle of bingeing and purging. Following an episode of out-of-control binge eating, people with bulimia take drastic steps to purge themselves of the extra calories.
In order to avoid weight gain they vomit, exercise to excess, fast, or take laxatives. Binge Eating Disorder. People with binge eating disorder compulsively overeat, rapidly consuming thousands of calories in a short period of time.
Despite feelings of guilt and shame over these secret binges, they feel unable to control their behavior or stop eating even when uncomfortably full. Fact: People with eating disorders come in all shapes and sizes. Many individuals with eating disorders are of average weight or are overweight. Fact: While eating disorders are most common in young women in their teens and early twenties, they are found in men and women of all ages—from children to older adults.
Fact: Eating disorders are serious conditions that cause both physical and emotional damage. All eating disorders can lead to irreversible and even life-threatening health problems, such as heart disease, bone loss, stunted growth, infertility, and kidney damage.
Many people worry about their weight, what they eat, and how they look. This is especially true for teenagers and young adults, who face extra pressure to fit in and look attractive at a time when their bodies are changing. As a result, it can be challenging to tell the difference between an eating disorder and normal self-consciousness, weight concerns, or dieting.
Further complicating matters, people with an eating disorder will often go to great lengths to hide the problem. However, there are warning signs you can watch for.
And as eating disorders progress, the red flags become easier to spot. People with eating disorders are often afraid to ask for help. Whatever the case, eating disorders will only get worse without treatment, and the physical and emotional damage can be severe. The sooner you start to help, the better their chances of recovery.
Your love and encouragement can make all the difference. The decision to make a change is rarely an easy one for someone with an eating disorder. If the eating disorder has left them malnourished, it can distort the way they think—about their body, the world around them, even your motivations for trying to help.
Pick a good time. Choose a time when you can speak to the person in private without distractions or constraints. Be careful to avoid lecturing or criticizing, as this will only make your loved one defensive. Be prepared for denial and resistance. If this happens, try to remain calm, focused, and respectful. Remember that this conversation likely feels very threatening to someone with an eating disorder.
Ask if the person has reasons for wanting to change. Even if your loved one lacks the desire to change for themselves, they may want to change for other reasons: to please someone they love, to return to school or work, for example.
All that really matters is that they are willing to seek help. Be patient and supportive. The important thing is opening up the lines of communication. If they are willing to talk, listen without judgment, no matter how out of touch they may sound. Avoid ultimatums. Eating disorders happen for many different reasons. Many people who have an eating disorder come from families in which other members have eating disorders or have other conditions such as depression.
This doesn't mean that a family member caused the disorder. It simply means that these conditions seem more likely to happen in that family. You can avoid guilt and self-blame by using the following tips. Current as of: September 23, Author: Healthwise Staff. This information does not replace the advice of a doctor.
Healthwise, Incorporated disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Learn how we develop our content. To learn more about Healthwise, visit Healthwise. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated. Top of the page. Topic Overview When a loved one has an eating disorder such as anorexia , bulimia , or binge eating and is in treatment, it is important that you show support.
Personal support You can show personal support by: Showing and stating your love.
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